Boarder or Child
Our difficulty in prayer demonstrates our mixed views of God. (JI Packer) The way we pray shows us what we really believe—do we believe He exists, do we believe He is personal, do we believe He is in control, do we believe that He is concerned with our day-to-day living? We were made to pray—we were made to fellowship with God and Jesus died and rose again so that we could have that fellowship restored. If that is true, then I want to suggest this—fellowship restored should lead to a deeper intimacy that is driven by prayer.
I find it interesting that of all things the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. I think this shows us the amount of time He prayed and the fact that they associated His walk with the Father with His prayer life. So, my goal is to deepen our intimacy with God by helping us enter into His presence through the means of grace called prayer.
But first, I want you to see Jesus’ contrast of three different types of prayer. People in all religions pray. The majority of those surveyed, admit to praying…especially during the difficult times, but notice the types of people Jesus spoke of in this section.
First, in Matthew 6:5, He spoke of the religious leaders—He calls them hypocrites. They loved to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners, but their focus is not on God—it is on how others view them. Stott said, nothing destroys prayer like side-glances at human spectators, but nothing enriches it like a sense of the presence of God!
Second, in verse 7, He spoke of the pagans, or Gentiles. Notice, they pray and they pray a lot—they heap up empty phrases and they think they will be heard for their many words. Both groups pray a lot, but their focus is wrong.
The third group is in verse 9, they are not made up of the religious or the pagans, but of the children of God—they pray like this, “Our Father.”
Jesus is talking about how we approach God or maybe we would be better to say—He is talking about our basis of approach to God. Many pray, but only those who come to Him as “Father” can truly approach Him. I heard a sermon a while back on this and Tim Keller really helped me understand the difference in terms of the basis in which we approach God. Let me wrap this up with some thoughts I learned from him.
When it comes to intimacy, when it comes to walking with God, or when it comes to fellowship with Him, we might best understand it by looking at two relationships. If we live in someone’s home, it is usually under two relationships. First, we are boarders.
Those who are boarders base the relationship upon pure business. The owner says, I have something for you and if you perform for me, you can enjoy it. Think of the boarder or renter—as long as he or she pays the rent and takes care of the property—they can live in the home, but it is a business relationship—if they pay the rent and take care of the property, they can rightly expect the landlord to take care of the maintenance of the home. If something breaks down—they call them and they expect them to fix it—in other words, I paid my rent, the plug isn’t working, so I expect you to fix the plug. It’s all business and it is based on goods and services.
There may be a deeper relationship than that, but it is always based on that degree of business—I have something, if you pay me, you can enjoy what I have, but if you don’t you can’t enjoy it. The boarder relationship is conditional. One of the greatest tests that you can do to see if you are operating as a boarder instead of as a child is to look at how you respond when your prayers are not answered.
What happens when you ask God to do something, and He does not do what you asked Him to do? If you are a boarder you’ll react in one of two ways—first, you’ll become angry. You might not say—I paid my rent—I went to church, I paid my tithe, I read my Bible, I prayed, and I went to Sunday School—now You do Your part and take care of my needs. I deserve that from you because of what I have done. Anyone ever think like that when you don’t get what you asked for? You’re a boarder.
Or you will feel guilt—God doesn’t answer the request so you think—I must not have done enough, I must not have prayed enough, I must not have read enough, I must not have gone to church enough…I must not have kept my end of the deal so you feel guilt. You feel you’ve let Him down and He didn’t come through because He is punishing you. Listen—religious people are boarders, but Christian’s approach God as a Father. The second relationship is we are children. You live in the home as a child, and you can learn to trust Him.
Notice how the prayer begins—Our Father—not our King, not our Lord, not our Creator, and not even our Friend…even though all of those things are true—it starts with “Our Father,” and Keller said that is because those two words control everything else about our relationship with God. The Fatherhood of God and our adoption as His children impact everything about our prayer life.
I find it interesting that of all things the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray. I think this shows us the amount of time He prayed and the fact that they associated His walk with the Father with His prayer life. So, my goal is to deepen our intimacy with God by helping us enter into His presence through the means of grace called prayer.
But first, I want you to see Jesus’ contrast of three different types of prayer. People in all religions pray. The majority of those surveyed, admit to praying…especially during the difficult times, but notice the types of people Jesus spoke of in this section.
First, in Matthew 6:5, He spoke of the religious leaders—He calls them hypocrites. They loved to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners, but their focus is not on God—it is on how others view them. Stott said, nothing destroys prayer like side-glances at human spectators, but nothing enriches it like a sense of the presence of God!
Second, in verse 7, He spoke of the pagans, or Gentiles. Notice, they pray and they pray a lot—they heap up empty phrases and they think they will be heard for their many words. Both groups pray a lot, but their focus is wrong.
The third group is in verse 9, they are not made up of the religious or the pagans, but of the children of God—they pray like this, “Our Father.”
Jesus is talking about how we approach God or maybe we would be better to say—He is talking about our basis of approach to God. Many pray, but only those who come to Him as “Father” can truly approach Him. I heard a sermon a while back on this and Tim Keller really helped me understand the difference in terms of the basis in which we approach God. Let me wrap this up with some thoughts I learned from him.
When it comes to intimacy, when it comes to walking with God, or when it comes to fellowship with Him, we might best understand it by looking at two relationships. If we live in someone’s home, it is usually under two relationships. First, we are boarders.
Those who are boarders base the relationship upon pure business. The owner says, I have something for you and if you perform for me, you can enjoy it. Think of the boarder or renter—as long as he or she pays the rent and takes care of the property—they can live in the home, but it is a business relationship—if they pay the rent and take care of the property, they can rightly expect the landlord to take care of the maintenance of the home. If something breaks down—they call them and they expect them to fix it—in other words, I paid my rent, the plug isn’t working, so I expect you to fix the plug. It’s all business and it is based on goods and services.
There may be a deeper relationship than that, but it is always based on that degree of business—I have something, if you pay me, you can enjoy what I have, but if you don’t you can’t enjoy it. The boarder relationship is conditional. One of the greatest tests that you can do to see if you are operating as a boarder instead of as a child is to look at how you respond when your prayers are not answered.
What happens when you ask God to do something, and He does not do what you asked Him to do? If you are a boarder you’ll react in one of two ways—first, you’ll become angry. You might not say—I paid my rent—I went to church, I paid my tithe, I read my Bible, I prayed, and I went to Sunday School—now You do Your part and take care of my needs. I deserve that from you because of what I have done. Anyone ever think like that when you don’t get what you asked for? You’re a boarder.
Or you will feel guilt—God doesn’t answer the request so you think—I must not have done enough, I must not have prayed enough, I must not have read enough, I must not have gone to church enough…I must not have kept my end of the deal so you feel guilt. You feel you’ve let Him down and He didn’t come through because He is punishing you. Listen—religious people are boarders, but Christian’s approach God as a Father. The second relationship is we are children. You live in the home as a child, and you can learn to trust Him.
Notice how the prayer begins—Our Father—not our King, not our Lord, not our Creator, and not even our Friend…even though all of those things are true—it starts with “Our Father,” and Keller said that is because those two words control everything else about our relationship with God. The Fatherhood of God and our adoption as His children impact everything about our prayer life.
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